Politics Juggler Gifts

The Russian Circus

"Watch out for Cosgrove. He can flip on you at any moment."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

Stop and Birch

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

NHS targets.

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'In... out... in... out... in... out... in...?!'

"'Article I. Section 9. Claus B. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States' - we gotta change that."

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

"Okay, if that's all the finger pointing we have today, we can move on!"

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"You need to put on some weight if you want to keep your job!"

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

Too early to begin working on/Too late to do anything about.

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

"You've been chosen to represent our establishment at 'Carrers day'. You're always careering from one crisis to the next"

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Donald Trump's Flying Circus

Swiss army justice.

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

"No, you can't be a venture socialist, because they don't exist!"