Conscience Juggler Gifts

Let's merge and cut out the middle man.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

That party went well.

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

Stop and Birch

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

You have reached the end of your brain...

New Ideas in Business.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

'We have to be more innovative but not in an out-of-the-box way.'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

"No, you can't be a venture socialist, because they don't exist!"

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"You've been chosen to represent our establishment at 'Carrers day'. You're always careering from one crisis to the next"

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

'Well, technically speaking, we do have a conscience...'

Lawyer, Attorney, Counselor, Barrister, Solicitor

"Too many tabs open."

'I've been married six times, did you know? . . . Oh yes, but how many husbands I've had, I'm not sure!'

'I can't say yes or no right now, Steve, but Vince's option runs out next month.'

'I was so damn close to success when I created 'neckbook'.'

"I'm having an ethical dilemma. I'm trying to decide whether to have some."