Ethical Juggler Gifts

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

That party went well.

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'So, now we have ascertained who is responsible...'

Stop and Birch

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'

New Ideas in Business.

'You have only yourself to blame for blaming yourself.'

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

"Oops! My mistake, that was your projected trial load for this year, not this month."

Business cartoon showing a business man headed toward 'blame'.

'This new role will involve some extra responsibilities...of course you'll appreciate that there won't be any extra funding...it's a role for which you are uniquely qualified!'

'We have to be more innovative but not in an out-of-the-box way.'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'

"As your attorney, Roger, I feel it's my duty to charge you an enormous amount of money."

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

"I never promised I would get you off. I alleged it."

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

'The Constitution guarantees you a speedy trial -- so hold on tight!'

"Oh I never lose any sleep over my criminal cases. I figure that even if I lose, I'm not the one going to Jail!"

'God, I hate Sunday mornings.'

Swiss army justice.