Conceptual Juggler Gifts

"Is this your joke of an idea?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"We have an acronym!"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

A Bloody Butcher

To do before Saturday...

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

"It's a swearbox."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Well I like to think every cloud has a silver lining.'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"We were looking for somebody with experience in mumbo-jumbo but your resume is mainly about gobbledegook."

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'I was headhunted.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

New Ideas in Business.

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

You have reached the end of your brain...

Newton's cradle

Santas Key Deliverables.

"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."

'I know it's a lot of money but we can't avoid it any longer.'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

"Excellent report! Totally incomprehensible and confusing! Not one of our board members will understand a word! Absolutely perfect!"

'The chechako sparged rhamnose into his yerba.'