Mental Jugglers Gifts

"Too many tabs open."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"...our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done!"

"There's a conversation to be had around a piece of work I'd like us to do tonight."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

Senior PGA Moment.

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"How a cartoonist's mind works #3 in a series" "Cartoons you think of during the day and draw" "Cartoons you think of in the middle of the night and forget"

New Ideas in Business.

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

You have reached the end of your brain...

Joe's Bar: Happy Hour 5-9, Utter Despair 10-12.

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

The boss and her baby

The Emeril Isle

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

'We have to be more innovative but not in an out-of-the-box way.'

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"Now close your eyes and go to sleep or Daddy will read you more of his novel."

'Did I put the recycling out?'

'This is serious. I think our area of expertise lacks a buzzword.'

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

'Were there any new buzzwords created while I was out to lunch.'

'He spoke in millions...then I found out he was a bacteriologist.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."