Conscience Wrangler Gifts

"I'm having an ethical dilemma. I'm trying to decide whether to have some."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

Parenting Business Deals

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

Environmental Conscience

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

Quiet Time

'Thanks for throwing out your ideas, Perkson, but I have to throw them out too.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

The Critic...

Parental Training Course

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

"I need you to line up by attention span."

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

'Sorry, Holly!'

"I handle chatty people for him."

"You think they all look like security risks."

Holding the moral high ground

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

'He never has an energy crisis.'