Emotion Wrangler Gifts

Desk bins: 'Misc. feelings to sort out,' 'Guilt and shame to process,' and 'Vague, unresolved yearnings to deal with.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

The Baby Walker

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

She - Interpreter - He.

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

Sulk Shows

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

Parenting Business Deals

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'OK...now what?'

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

The First Day Back

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Quiet Time

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"Trying to unclutter my life by reducing busyness is taking up all my free time!"

Nanny with children on leash

Diplomacy