Emotion Wrangler Pillows

Desk bins: 'Misc. feelings to sort out,' 'Guilt and shame to process,' and 'Vague, unresolved yearnings to deal with.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

The Baby Walker

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

She - Interpreter - He.

Lady to man taking picture of fish: 'Wiggle him a little and get him to smile.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Sulk Shows

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

Parenting Business Deals

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

Counselor. It's annoying that he always has to have the second-to-last word

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

The First Day Back

'OK...now what?'

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

Quiet Time

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

Nanny with children on leash

"Trying to unclutter my life by reducing busyness is taking up all my free time!"

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.