Conscience Grappler Gifts

Holding the moral high ground

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"God works in mysterious ways."

Bad times to sneeze

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

'Yep, that does sound like an ethical dilemma, Phil. But relax... it's only a problem if you have a conscience.' 'That's just it! I think I do!!' 'Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

'I'll never forget that day as long as I live. I was in court, delivering my final arguments in a pesky little environmental case, and I actually felt my conscience leave my body!'

Hunter haunted by Bunnies.

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

Baseball Angels

How's the writer's block?

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

Let's merge and cut out the middle man.

"I'm having an ethical dilemma. I'm trying to decide whether to have some."

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

'I get that it was wrong. I don't get why it matters.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."