Grief Grappler Gifts

"Just get over it. That's what I did." Bob turns a tragic loss into a lame attempt at helping others cope.

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Secretive Weigh In.

Bad times to sneeze

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'Grief counselling'

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"On your previous visit you were describing how you were unable to express grief at the death of your first dog, Ranger. Please continue."

Holding the moral high ground

The final stage of grief is acceptance. And the inevitable long and rambling acceptance speech.

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

Cat boxer

'Such petulance!'

How's the writer's block?

Former Survivalist

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

Denial Exit Now: Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance Next 4 Exits.

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'

'Let's talk dollars and cents. How many 'loved ones' did you lose in the stock market?'

"When I got divorced, I went through all the stages of grieving - sadness, anger, denial and punching the air with delight when the settlement cheque came through!"

"Oh my God, mother! That is, like, so passive-aggressive!"

"You're not even listening, are you?!"

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'