Grudge Grappler Gifts

Holding a grudge.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Bad times to sneeze

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

How's the writer's block?

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

"My family likes to set up our grudges at Thanksgiving, stew over them through December, then take our revenge at Christmas."

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'I never hold a grudge...after I get even!'