Grudge Ninja Gifts

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

Self help acupuncture

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'Simply put.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I think that might have been one deadline too many for Tim!"

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

Coronavirus world

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Building business relations.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Gone Bookkeepin'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

'Well done! This works much better.'

Never ending to do list

Work avalanche

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

Knitted Kitty.

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

Child stands on Math help books to reach blackboard.