Grading Ninja Gifts

'Your grading scale needs to be calibrated.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Good Luck!

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Examiners.

"We need a better piling system."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

Meet the People of the Internet

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"Better than Chekhov"

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

Examiners Nightmare.

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

"I see from your resume you have a black belt in accountancy."