Graded Gifts

'Boy, this ain't what I meant when I said don't let education get to yer head!'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

"I started a collection!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"How'd I do on the test?"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"Report card."

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

Examiners.

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

'Mistakes were made...'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

'Straight A's. That means good.'

Thoughts on Education.

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

"Dude, I've never seen you so happy about a 'B' before."

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

'So, you see, Dad, if we compare our overall school performance, I'm actually doing better than you did at my age.'

GCSE's

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

Truth In Education

Teacher with work box: 'You could do better work.'