Grades Guru Gifts

'I'm taking an optimistic approach. Instead of a failing grade, I'm looking at it as 80 passing.'

'If we faxed everyone's report card to his mother so he wouldn't have to be there when she saw it, Sam, where would be the incentive to do better?'

'I had a difficult decision: accept that 90% of you failed the test, or invent a radical new grading curve involving a radical new mathematical system.'

"While it's true most of my grades have gone down, most were on low volume."

"I found a way to turn my old report cards into fine art."

'C'mon get it straight.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'Maths is fun!'

Jewish Geometry

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I started a collection!"

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

"How'd I do on the test?"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

"Report card."

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

Examiners.

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

'Mistakes were made...'