Gpa Guru Gifts

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

No-Work Orange

"I need to tinkle."

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Injured backpacker.

It can be taken up at any age....

Guru.

Kirsten Johnson

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Golf lessons

"How'd I do on the test?"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I didn't have a glass ceiling I had to break through... I had a golf course I had to conquer.'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'