Gauge Guru Gifts

"He shows enormous potential."

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

Tartine

Apples for sale

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Lennon and McCartney.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Intelligent people laugh too!

'But what is the universe for?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

ZZZZZZZ Top

"This next one's another oldie."

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

Eric Clapton.

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"Check out this new store."

Inflating Boobs.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Bashful in Nashville