Guzzle Guru Gifts

"And let us never forget those million of brave yeast cells who gave their lives so we might guzzle."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Walking Luggage.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

e-shoes

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Crap from the future.