Gag Guru Gifts

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

'Anybody can learn to draw - the hard part is thinking up the gags.'

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

"I want to be a stand up comic, but life's not crap enough."

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

After I crossed the road, I began to ask myself why I did anything.

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

'Hey! It's way too early to declare me, 'Nerd of the Century'!'

Cartoon computer

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

'My first drink since my accident.'

The Last Jerseys.

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

Cartoonist Checkups

'Maybe next concert we should ease up on the volume.'

Fish building a bomb to save themselves.

'HEY,no Tongue!'

"He shows enormous potential."

Dentist reading 'Dentistry for Dummies'.

'Last arrests at the bar please...!'

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

I heard you have a really bad toothache. Meh. Not anymore. "Meh"? I got bored of that, so I just moved on. Amazing. "Mindless over matter." Bored of this phone.

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

"Gangs Of Nude Beach"