Gag Master Gifts

Cartoonist Checkups

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

Snowprov

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

(Singing) 'Doctor, what's wrong with me?' 'Staff in-fec-tion.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

'Always the wise guy.'

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

Great, the skeletons of all the other cartoon characters who were here before us.

Up your end.

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

'My first drink since my accident.'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

Al, trust me� You're ready for tomorrow's comic strip. I really want to nail my performance, Axel. "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter, there's a fly in my soup�waiter�"