Gag Master Gifts

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Snowprov

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"...Any more of that fowl language and you're barred!"

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Custard pie ejects from book - 'How to be a clown'

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

Up your end.

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Always the wise guy.'

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

'His dad was a standup. He's a quip off the old block.'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

"He's surprisingly sensitive about heckling."