Gagster Gifts

Snowprov

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Mobsters at the Beach

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

This is your last warning, Jimmy - You break your pinky promise, we break your pinky.

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

Paul McCartney, The Surgeon - "I want to hold your gland yeah, yeah, yeah..."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Did you remember to whack the cat?"

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

Why did the chicken cross the mafia

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'Sorry Rocko, you know how it works. Step on a crack, break your mother's back.'

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'