Gag Lovers Gifts

'He'll not be writing any more quick-fire gags now he's crawling along at that speed, eh, Ern?'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy says 'let me hear you say yeah!'

'YAY! PATE!'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

'Just remember lads, when the drummer misses a beat we all miss a beat.'

Fuzz - Max expresses pain.

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

The monster was surprised to receive a medical bill from Dr. Frankenstein.

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

"Is it working?"

'My first drink since my accident.'

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

"Don't mind me - finish the gag."

The Fart Side

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

'Methane Happens.'

"Hey! Your phone isn't turned on."