Gag Enthusiasts Gifts

'My first drink since my accident.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

"Static cling."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'YAY! PATE!'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

"So, Jenny in accounting needs all reimbursement forms backdated to the first of the month, but Dave in HR said she's just doing that to create busy work for everyone."

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

The Fart Side

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

"Don't mind me - finish the gag."

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

"Is it working?"

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

'Methane Happens.'