Funny Guru Gifts

'You know, Miss, if you ever want to have an out-of-body, experience, I'll be glad to keep an eye on it for you!'

Fish building a bomb to save themselves.

Beach con-man.

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

Strange man has a nose monocle.

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

Hose and Flower in Perfect Harmony.

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

Cave Man Hanging Framed Cave Paintings

Third eye

"Curious and curiouser."

"Complaining empowers us."

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

'Hello... Hare Club for Men...'

'Last arrests at the bar please...!'

Fishes

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

"I charge according to the size of the target."

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

"I want to be a stand up comic, but life's not crap enough."

Liv Ullmann

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A Fsh."

The fuzziness you're experiencing is not a problem with your set — You are listening to a paid political broadcast.

"I'm a lovebird Monica. If you wanted passion you should have married a passionbird!"

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."

'Anybody can learn to draw - the hard part is thinking up the gags.'

"Have you seen Meredith? She just got her braces off."

"When resources are limited we need to think 'outside the box'....we need to maximise potential returns from our shared skills portfolio..."

'You have nothing to fear but fear itself... and my bill.'