Gag Guru Pillows

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

'Anybody can learn to draw - the hard part is thinking up the gags.'

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

"I want to be a stand up comic, but life's not crap enough."

"It's Albert's revamped version of the old 'arrow through the head' gag, but it still needs a bit of work."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

"Finally, a co-worker who CAN handle Big data!"

Cartoon computer

'Hey! It's way too early to declare me, 'Nerd of the Century'!'

The Last Jerseys.

'My first drink since my accident.'

'It must be the altitude -- enlightenment shouldn't give you nosebleeds.'

Fish building a bomb to save themselves.

'Maybe next concert we should ease up on the volume.'

'HEY,no Tongue!'

"He shows enormous potential."

'Last arrests at the bar please...!'

Dentist reading 'Dentistry for Dummies'.

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"I charge according to the size of the target."

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

'Is this the narrow gauge track or a standard gauge track?'

"Surprise!"

"Gangs Of Nude Beach"

Fishes

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.