Gag Enthusiast Pillows

"Surprise!"

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

'Some gagwriter you turned out to be!'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

Egypt 1896. Dr Howard Prendergast and Percy Smythe discover the tomb of King Ahktuman the Practical Joker, proving conclusively that the ancient Egyptians were the first culture to use whoopee cushion.

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'Congratulations - you're the first victim of recombinant DNA.'

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

'Admit it you need glasses, that is my false eyelash you have just sprayed.'

Wise man scaring baby Jesus.

The Fart Side

"Don't mind me - finish the gag."

'He stubbed-my-toe yell sounds a lot like his chest-pounding victory yell.'

"Is it working?"

'My first drink since my accident.'

'Methane Happens.'

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

"Apparently, this is his 'great lost masterpiece...'"

Kick Me T Shirts.

'Brother John had discovered a loophole in the vow of silence'

How do I know it's yours?