Gag Aficionado Pillows

"Nice hairball ringtone!"

"Why do they do that?"

'No swimming. No breathing.'

What's normal?

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"Static cling."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

JET (Part I)

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

“Rumor has it, it’s happy hour.”

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

'I'd like to return this shredder.'

"Congratulations! You've told the same joke one thousand times!"

'You have bullseye rash. take this medicine twice a day and stay away from dart games.'

"Yikes! Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't see this."

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'

'Evolution may be a good idea, but how will we FUND it?'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

What could have been quite possibly the most hilarious dog joke ever is interrupted by. . . 'So I said, that's no bone, that's my. . . squirrel!'