Gate Guru Gifts

"Good morning passengers awaiting Flight 3335 to Lisbon. We just want to remind you that if the planes leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it..."

Flight Departures

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Lennon and McCartney.

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

CEO with SEO

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

e-shoes

"This next one's another oldie."