Gate Enthusiast Gifts

Cat statues on entrance gate

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

Odd Angles, a monthly strip on coarse angling

Closed Thursdays.

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

Dry Cleaning

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"I want you to call that idiot you hired to build our garage...he made it too small for our car!"

"Overruled!"

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

Must you be so judgmental?

The Great Out-doors

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

'I realize that hearsay evidence isn't admissible by the court, Your Honor, but you're going to love this!'

Judge Duels

'He hasn't done anything yet, it's just with all this gear on, he can't stand up!'

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

Surprised witness

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

"Don't worry about the virus. Of course, you may approach the bench."

"Never mind honey, I found the garage door opener."

"So this is why you ate your spinach and wanted seconds at dinner!"

'Excuse me, but I've always wanted to do this.'