Gate Enthusiast Gifts

Cat statues on entrance gate

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'After counsel said, 'You did it', the defendant said, 'Did not', followed by a, 'Did too'. . .'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

Closed Thursdays.

Odd Angles, a monthly strip on coarse angling

Truth In Education

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Sale: All Doors Massively Reduced!

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

Must you be so judgmental?

Dry Cleaning

The Great Out-doors

"I want you to call that idiot you hired to build our garage...he made it too small for our car!"

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'

Heavenly Take Out

"Overruled!"

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

'I realize that hearsay evidence isn't admissible by the court, Your Honor, but you're going to love this!'

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

Judge Duels

'He hasn't done anything yet, it's just with all this gear on, he can't stand up!'

Surprised witness

'I'm sentencing you to 100 hours of community service. Be at Twin Lakes Country Club at 8am sharp. I need a caddy.'

"Never mind honey, I found the garage door opener."

"Don't worry about the virus. Of course, you may approach the bench."

'Excuse me, but I've always wanted to do this.'

Why are you constantly asking to approach the bench? My psychiatrist says I suffer from gavel envy.