Pearly Gates Enthusiast Gifts

"I loved my job. That's gotta count for something."

Cat statues on entrance gate

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

Closed Thursdays.

Magestically Marble Hill

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

"I'm starting to regret that haircut."

We've been Gazumped

"I forgot to call in dead."

Shower before entering heaven.

'Sudden death?'

Steve Spermatozoa, dead at 35 from terminal horniness.

'Eight hundred million channels and there's still nothing good on!'

'Soccer hooligans, majesty! Thousands of them! We're doomed!'

"Did you make an appointment?"

"Hmmmmm ... I don't see you on our 'friends' list ... "

'Let one more dragon get away and I'm busting you all the way down to peasant!'

"Unfortunately, a few years back we had to start accepting advertising."

"Certainly you're qualified, .… we're just trying to achieve a certain dynamic."

"So what's his story?"