Galaxy Guru Gifts

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'I know I'm the center of the universe.'

Astronomers talk about sunspots

'Technically, you can't really consider these 'alien visitations'. No offence but this planet is the only dumping station in this corner of the galaxy...'

"No, I'm not here to destroy your planet. I just need to borrow a phone charger. I left mine at home, which is about 180 million light years from here."

"So you maintain there are clusters of galaxies, Leora Believes there are clusters of clusters, and I'm convinced there are clusters of clusters of clusters."

An astronomy demonstration has been vandalised

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

'But what is the universe for?'

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Apples for sale

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

Intelligent people laugh too!

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

On the back of the t-shirt...

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Exercise Class

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'I could do that.'

Geek fairies

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

The Rise of Modern Art

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

The trim reaper

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."