Star Guru Gifts

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'But what is the universe for?'

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

Keeping warm.

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

'I could do that.'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

The Rise of Modern Art

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

Mr Metrosexual.

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'