Star Guru Gifts

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'But what is the universe for?'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

Keeping warm.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

'I could do that.'

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

The Rise of Modern Art

Mr Metrosexual.

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'