Sound Guru Gifts

A conductor bows while a one-man-band sits, exhausted.

'I told you we should have gone wireless.'

Showbiz Awards

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'She's so put together!'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

Keeping warm.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Absolutely not!"

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Geek fairies

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

At the suit makers

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."