Gradebook Guru Gifts

Teacher with soreness: 'I got a kink in my neck from grading on a curve.'

'C'mon get it straight.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'Maths is fun!'

Jewish Geometry

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"How'd I do on the test?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"Report card."

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

Examiners.

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

'Mistakes were made...'

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

Hares looking at Euclid

Sphere vs. sphere reimagined.