Grading Guru Gifts

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"Yes, you did get a C minus, and no, I don't have malpractice insurance."

"Let me tell you, Kittles, after a hard day's work there's nothing I like better than to sit in my favorite chair, eat leftover Chinese food, grade 72 math tests and read 50 English papers."

Teacher with work box: 'You could do better work.'

Teachers' Training Toughened: 'Sorry I'm late, I had to help one of the student teachers with their homework.'

"Excuse me...is this one of those tests where we lose marks for wrong answers?"

Grading Guidelines.

'Because I have 150 term papers to grade and I'm getting drowsy.'

"Oh, nothing - just grading papers."

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

"Ruddy teachers are up in arms again about the English marking. . ."

"Ugh....the kids are awful, the parents are mean and all I do in my free time correct papers. I hate my job!"

'Miss Figgs, as your Headmaster I feel it only fair to warn you that your exam marking is under investigation!'

Examiners Nightmare.

Student: 'You gave me an 'F' in Psychology. Have you ever thought about sensitivity training?'

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

Things we're sick of hearing

'C'mon get it straight.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

"In economics, I got an IOU."

'Oh Hi!'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

'Maths is fun!'

Jewish Geometry

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

Kirsten Johnson

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"How'd I do on the test?"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.'

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"