Grades Guru Pillows

'I'm taking an optimistic approach. Instead of a failing grade, I'm looking at it as 80 passing.'

'If we faxed everyone's report card to his mother so he wouldn't have to be there when she saw it, Sam, where would be the incentive to do better?'

'I had a difficult decision: accept that 90% of you failed the test, or invent a radical new grading curve involving a radical new mathematical system.'

"I found a way to turn my old report cards into fine art."

'C'mon get it straight.'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'Maths is fun!'

Jewish Geometry

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I started a collection!"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"When you say you're behind me 100%, do you mean base ten or binary?"

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

"How'd I do on the test?"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"Report card."

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

Examiners.

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

'Mistakes were made...'

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

Hares looking at Euclid

'That's what you get for skipping geometry class.'

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"