Grading Pillows

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Because I have 150 term papers to grade and I'm getting drowsy.'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

Examiners.

'Daddy's going to know who you are, son.'

'Why are there performance standards for students and teachers - but none for politicians?'

Examiners Nightmare.

'Miss Figgs, as your Headmaster I feel it only fair to warn you that your exam marking is under investigation!'

"You report is late!"

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"I started a collection!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

"How'd I do on the test?"

"These fourth grade marks are confusing...I got a B on the assignment, so is that like a smiley face or a star?"

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"Report card."

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'I figured if 1 is good for milk, why not schoolwork, too?'

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

'Mistakes were made...'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

"All As? Are you hacking into the school's records again?"

'Straight A's. That means good.'

Thoughts on Education.

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

"Dude, I've never seen you so happy about a 'B' before."