Grading Systems Gifts

Grading Guidelines.

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"I got an 'A' for my anti-gravity science project!"

"I started a collection!"

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

Examiners.

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'After what you said about mine, guess whose Mum has just found in the attic?'

"Great! I've finally mastered all my competencies and my teachers still have most of their hair."

"I got an A in not being annoying!"

'Mistakes were made...'

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

Thoughts on Education.

Teacher giving marks out of ten to builder repairing wall in school.

'No, Stanley, there isn't any margin of errors on math tests.'

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

Teacher with work box: 'You could do better work.'

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

Examiners Nightmare.

"If everyone is gonna get a universal basic income, what is the point of getting good grades?"

"Great. Now, can I see the unredacted version of your report card?"

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

'We need to start working more closely to try to improve these grades. Do you have my office number?'

"Somewhere, there's an A with my name on it, but apparently not my address."

'Miss Figgs, as your Headmaster I feel it only fair to warn you that your exam marking is under investigation!'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"