Discipline Ninja Gifts

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

'Remember, he's ambidextrous. He can be both heavy handed and slight-of-hand.'

"Hi-yah!"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Good Luck!

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"We need a better piling system."

'Gimme all your cache!'

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

Meet the People of the Internet

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

Computer Virus

"Do as many study days as you can."

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'

Be the grass...

Because bubble wrap made it hard to sneak up on their targets, ninjas eventually switched to their familiar black outfits.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

Ninja

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

Camp Games

"Don't tell me the doctor isn't available - I just hacked into his itinerary and I know that he has free time right now!"

Ninja Rule no#1: never wear corduroy.

"The feds wanted to put me in witness protection, but after they saw what you did with my website, they figured you could hide me better."

Sandwich Shop

'Here's the problem. Our GPS system is in kilometers, not miles.'