Online Ninja Gifts

Meet the People of the Internet

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Trade Show Sherpas

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

"I think that might have been one deadline too many for Tim!"

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Building business relations.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"We need a better piling system."

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'