Digital Ninja Gifts

Computer Virus

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

All charged up and nowhere to go.

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'

"The feds wanted to put me in witness protection, but after they saw what you did with my website, they figured you could hide me better."

"Don't tell me the doctor isn't available - I just hacked into his itinerary and I know that he has free time right now!"

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'Simply put.'

Trade Show Sherpas

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Building business relations.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

Gone Bookkeepin'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

The Card Flinger