Internet Ninja Gifts

'Gimme all your cache!'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Go team!

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

Trade Show Sherpas

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

Building business relations.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

Good Luck!

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'How many words per minute do you type?'

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

"We need a better piling system."