Numerical Ninja Gifts

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"I don't believe I've ever seen a more magnificent mistake, Roger."

'Are you sure you want to stick with those numbers, Johnny.'

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Go team!

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

ACME Balloon Company.

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'Simply put.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Building business relations.

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

Gone Bookkeepin'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole