Numerical Ninja Gifts

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"I don't believe I've ever seen a more magnificent mistake, Roger."

'Are you sure you want to stick with those numbers, Johnny.'

"Wait! That's not a decimal point! It's a dead fly!"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Go team!

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

ACME Balloon Company.

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

Building business relations.

Gone Bookkeepin'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

The Card Flinger

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"