Numbers Ninja Gifts

Gone Bookkeepin'

'Face it, you've changed. The man I married would never subject his family to an annual cost-benefit analysis.'

Performance management: "Have you seen this?"

"Now are you convinced that the tax simplification plan will work?"

"...They're not fighting over the bill, it's the receipt."

"In a way, I AM kind of famous. But you've probably never heard of me unless you happen to travel in actuarial circles."

'Well done! This works much better.'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'Don't worry,, I checked the figures with wikopedia.'

'My maths tutor complained about me? Hasn't she heard of mentor-client privilege?'

"This is great!! Now, what's the bad news?"

Accountant's Awards - "Our next award is for 'Tax Loophole of the Year'..."

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

"Well if you don't agree with my count, then you do it."

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

IRS, 'You're not really a bad person, so we'll just confiscate everything you own and let you off with a warning.'

"Yow! Thank goodness you've kept costs on a short leash!"

"See that chart? Well, don't you believe it."

'Daddy, tell me again about the brave boy accountant who used his finger to plug the tax loophole in the revenue dike.'

'...and these are the figures we'd hoped for.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

Student to teacher: 'After Accelerated Math I think I deserve a rest.'

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

'Simply put.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

Magician creates magic square

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Our fees are �10, 000 per loophole."

'...Mr Smythe of accounts and Mr Basher of overdue accounts'.

'Wow! That was one of the most exciting math problems I've seen in awhile. I hated to see it end!'