Number Ninja Gifts

"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."

"Yeah, everyone agrees on the numbers, but nobody knows what they mean."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I don't want to brag, but I have a loophole named after me.'

Pushed to the max by the algebra test, Tim's brain spontaneously combusted.

To err is human and subject to penalty

Does your accountant speak your language?

"Go to accounting and crunch the numbers people."

'We've had a hard time keeping physical education in our curriculum.'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

Memory School - Mnemonics - 'You simply associate each number with a word, such as 'table' and 3,4,76,029.'

'I haven't found anything wrong with your books yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

'You can come in now - the auditors have gone.'

"I'm right because it feels right!"

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Wish you would've warned me about this. I hate getting ambushed.'

'Just a darn minute! -- Yesterday you said that X equals two!'

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Thank you, sir -- be sure to visit our website.'

Indicators - "Sorry, Crossley, I'm not happy - I can feel it in my bones."

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

"I'm looking for something accurate but deceivingly hopeful."

"Frankly, Ms. Brandt, I'm content to leave addition to the experts."

Statistics Dept: 41% of people like the corner cafe, 30% like the diner across the street, 20% are unsure!

"Inland Revenue office. 'Excuse my maths won't you?'"

"Honey, this is that new accounting team I was telling you about. Due to certain irregularities on my part, they'll be taking the house, the car and a couple of the kids."

Geek in indignation at fellow geek's T-shirt which says: 'I'm with someone who can only recite pi to 100 decimal places.'

"Ah. Who know what new adventure awaits me today in the thrilling, action-packed world of double-entry bookkeeping?"

ACME Balloon Company.

'No, Ryan, the answer is not 'Ka-Ching'.'

Excuse me, 62756076 is not my account number. You're right, that's your council tax.