Number Ninja Pillows

"I never should have tried to take my accounting to the next level."

"Yeah, everyone agrees on the numbers, but nobody knows what they mean."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I don't want to brag, but I have a loophole named after me.'

To err is human and subject to penalty

Does your accountant speak your language?

"Go to accounting and crunch the numbers people."

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'We've had a hard time keeping physical education in our curriculum.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

Memory School - Mnemonics - 'You simply associate each number with a word, such as 'table' and 3,4,76,029.'

'I haven't found anything wrong with your books yet, but it's OK for you to go ahead and worry a bit longer.'

'Wish you would've warned me about this. I hate getting ambushed.'

'Just a darn minute! -- Yesterday you said that X equals two!'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

"I'm right because it feels right!"

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

"I'm looking for something accurate but deceivingly hopeful."

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Thank you, sir -- be sure to visit our website.'

Indicators - "Sorry, Crossley, I'm not happy - I can feel it in my bones."

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

"Honey, this is that new accounting team I was telling you about. Due to certain irregularities on my part, they'll be taking the house, the car and a couple of the kids."

2.54 Centimetersworm

Statistics Dept: 41% of people like the corner cafe, 30% like the diner across the street, 20% are unsure!

"Frankly, Ms. Brandt, I'm content to leave addition to the experts."

ACME Balloon Company.

'No, Ryan, the answer is not 'Ka-Ching'.'

"Inland Revenue office. 'Excuse my maths won't you?'"

Geek in indignation at fellow geek's T-shirt which says: 'I'm with someone who can only recite pi to 100 decimal places.'

Excuse me, 62756076 is not my account number. You're right, that's your council tax.

I've found a loophole in your loophole

At the sesame street school of accountancy.