Number Ninja Lovers Gifts

"These financials look right. They smell right -- they're either right or very clever."

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'Simply put.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

ACME Balloon Company.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

Pushed to the max by the algebra test, Tim's brain spontaneously combusted.

'Well done! This works much better.'

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Propping up a profits chart.