Returns Ninja Gifts

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Domestic Superheroes!!

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

ACME Balloon Company.

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Best Seller

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Pushed to the max by the algebra test, Tim's brain spontaneously combusted.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Propping up a profits chart.

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

IRS tax instructions.

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"Easy day at school. Spelling was easy as ABC, math was easy as one two three, and music was easy as Do Re Mi."