Novel Ninja Gifts

Best Seller

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

Freedom of the press

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

Ninja.

'She wasn't a soccer mom after all -- she was a NINJA mom!'

"Better than Chekhov"

...Sheep worrying had taken on a whole new meaning on Joe's farm!

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

Oh, don't worry about my husband — he's out of town on his silly ninja business.

Be the grass...

Because bubble wrap made it hard to sneak up on their targets, ninjas eventually switched to their familiar black outfits.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

Information War

Ninja Rule no#1: never wear corduroy.

'My ballet training comes in handy when I don't want the baby to wake up.'

Reporter #2: plant.

Physicist Frank Bartholomew gets a big, BIG break in his search for the ever-elusive neutrino.

Baby Thoughts in Nappy Changing.

Camp Games

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

Ninja