Library Ninja Gifts

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Myths and legends...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Best Seller

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

Building business relations.

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Gone Bookkeepin'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

'Well done! This works much better.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

Child stands on Math help books to reach blackboard.

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."