Library Ninja Gifts

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Coping with a strong-willed child

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'Simply put.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Myths and legends...

Building business relations.

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Best Seller

Gone Bookkeepin'

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

'Well done! This works much better.'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Child stands on Math help books to reach blackboard.

Small child checks out a book.

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."